I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
