Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
And then my night got REAL pukey
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
