so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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