ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
