I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize