so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
