what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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