Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
