i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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