maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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