i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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