You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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