you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize