yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
