sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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