The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
