We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
