YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
