That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I have already put on my inside pants.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
