im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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