i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he was CRYING into my vagina
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
