We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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