Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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