Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
