I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
