Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
