giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she peed on how many people?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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