omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
