she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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