That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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