Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
