What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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