it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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