Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
