Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
