She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
