sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
