The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
