so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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