Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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