It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
