At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
