can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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