we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
