I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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