He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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