In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You took a bar mat shot.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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