he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
