You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
