So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
