I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
