The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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