she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
