Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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