I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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