Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think your dad took our porno
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
