Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think people are normalizing furries
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
