I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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