You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
